is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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