he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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