I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am one with the molecules
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
