My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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