coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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