fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
