I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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