Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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