My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
