hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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