i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
