He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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