She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize