I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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