I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
