Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
