It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
