This show inspires me to have sex in space
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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