worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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