There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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