yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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