You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
