somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We left an ass print on the piano.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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