There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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