I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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