careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
