i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
