I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
