you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
