im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
