that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
