It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just gargled with NyQuil
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
