He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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