I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
