She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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