I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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