I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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