Do you still have your period?
I didn't shave. On purpose
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
