Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
