Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
