He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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