TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
