Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
