someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
