there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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