You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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