My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
