What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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