If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I need water and some morals
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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