I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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