bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
