when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
