He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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