Me too!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
