i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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