absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
