ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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