please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
