I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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