I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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