I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
